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  • Jasper Blane


It has been suggested this could be an interesting after-dinner anecdote – I would suggest a generous cognac might be in order though to help it down!

Tony was selling accident insurance in Derbyshire.

One day he turned up at the construction site at Carsington Reservoir. There were a couple of men standing outside a hut. Tony went up to them and gave them the details of the policy that he was selling. One of them turned to Tony and said:

“I'll have one of those!”

“Great!” said Tony. “Let me fill the form in. What's your name?”

“James,” said the man. Tony wrote it down.

“What's your surname?' asked Tony.

“You spell it: L, E, M, O, N,” the man said.

“You mean LEMON?” said Tony.

“It’s pronounced LEE-MON” said the man.

“Looks like LEMON to me,” said Tony.

“Look! Do you want my money or don't you?” he snarled.

“You're right,” said Tony, “it is LEE-MON.”

So, Tony filled in the rest of the form, and then the man said:

“I haven't got any money on me; can you pick it up later at my house? I live in Ashbourne.”

“No problem,” said Tony. Later on that day, he went to the man’s house and knocked on the door.

“Hello, Mr. LEE-MON, I've come for your money,” he said.

The man gave him the money and Tony handed him his policy.

“Thanks a lot,” said Tony. “Be seeing you, Mr. LEMON,” and off he headed, with an elfish smirk.

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